She shook her head slowly with regret and sighed long and slow. It was right then, remembering the attitude Mom had when she first caught me this afternoon that I got an idea…I quietly walked up to my Mom. I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder. She jerked around and saw that it was me. “You scared the shit out of me.” She barked quietly. Her eyes immediately caught the big bulge in my gym shorts as I stood next to her. “I was just thinking about you, Mom.” This time it was me that was throwing around the sarcasm. “Yeah well, I’m having a little trouble finishing this report so if you don’t mind. . .” Her eyes bounced back and forth between my eyes and my shorts nervously. She leaned to one side a little to catch a glimpse of the couch. Dad was still sleeping. I just stood there.“What do you want Robert?” “I just came down to get a drink and saw you here. You look kinda. . . . . .stressed.” “Well, I have a lot on my mind.” “I bet you do”, I responded.Mom cocked her head a. ‘There’s a lot of one-nighters in there.’ And so Connie proceeded to disclose her sexual past, which for a woman her age was impressive. She had had several more or less serious steady boyfriends over the years, but she had, she told us with a wicked grin, ‘never been faithful to any of ’em yet.’ She acknowledged that some people thought she was a bit ‘free and easy’, but she felt it was not entirely her fault. ‘It’s this ass. Guys can’t keep their hands off it. Fortunately,’ she concluded. Fran, who had a very religious upbringing, was moved to a rebuke. ‘Connie, you told me you believe in God, how can you carry on this way?’ ‘I don’t see what that’s got to do with it,’ replied Connie, revealing unsuspected qualities as a theologian. ‘If God didn’t want me to fuck guys, why’d He make them so yummy?’ After Fran’s and Connie’s disclosures it should have been Elspeth’s turn but by now it was nearly ten o’clock so she escaped. ‘More than Fran, but fewer than Connie,’ was all we had time.
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