That’s more your thing.”“Divorced and not enjoying it? What is wrong with you?” Babs gave me a hug before heading off. “Say goodnight to Toby for me. He ran off without saying shit to me. He’s so rude.”“He’s shy.”“Whatever. Shyness is still rudeness.”I was hoping Toby would not come visit me. It was our last night in California and I had worked like a dog today and I just wanted to sleep. After a shower, I put on my long nightgown and I started preparing my herbal tea. I decided to put the “do not disturb” sign on my door to keep Toby from coming. I went to the door and opened it.…Just as Toby was just about to knock on it.I sighed. He was biting his lip and looking down at his feet.“I danced with her,” he said finally, pointing at me without looking.I leaned my head on the door and nodded. “You did.”“I actually walked up to her.”“And she was receptive, wasn’t she? See? All you had to do was ask someone at the right time, right? And she liked you. Even though you didn’t say bye to. Ahhhhhmen." he said."And how long has it been since your last confession? He prompted."Well now you're asking, maybe 10 years or more." So you wouldn't say you're especially devout?"The man chuckled again. "My devotions tend to be more, er... secular." Please go on." He prompted again."Oh it's hard to stop." He grunted, then moaned again."Are you alright?" The priest asked, wondering if the man was having some sort of seizure."Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Then please continue." Ok, I have to confess I'm having an affair..." he groaned. "... With a friends wife. Oh God that's good..." He groaned again.The disturbing truth began to dawn on the priest. He shifted uncomfortably on the wooden bench, worn smooth by his predecessors over the years, who had probably never had to deal with a situation like this and one in he was hopelessly unable to cope."... Just put... tongue in..." The man muttered, his words muffled somehow, probably by a well placed hand but still the priest caught the gist of.
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