.. “Brothers and Sisters, I don’t like to have to do this, but there is a man in the congregation who is having an affair with another parishioner’s wife, and if there is not at least five dollars in the collection, I will reveal his name.”Later, as he counted the money he found 2O five dollar bills, and a two dollar bill with a note that read “Forever hold your peace, I’ll have that other three dollars before sundown.”I once found a throw rug in a catch basin.I bought a dog the other day ... I named him Stay. It’s fun to call him...”Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!” He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.-- Steven WrightWhen will all the rhetorical questions end?We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don’t we have inchage?Bumper Sticker:If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.The other day, I was walking my dog around my building ... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.-- Steven WrightStudies show that 100%. She was not at all talking to me unless I go and talk to her, and I decided that I will not eat in the night and see if she will come and ask me why I am not eating, so around 9 30 I just went inside without even saying good night to her and closed the door and waited for the knock on my door but for my bad luck she did not knock and I tried to sleep in empty stomach, after some time I was also hungry and came out to get the water and I could see jayanthi attha was still watching tv, I went to kitchen and filled my water bottle and the moment I turned back I could see my aunt on the kitchen door, and she told me from tomorrow if you are not eating you must tell me so that there won’t any wastage ,I just nodded my head and said ok as I was about get out from the kitchen door she stopped me there and asked me why I am not eating ?, I said I am not hungry, she told me know you are hungry and just shut your mouth and eat I asked her how can I eat if I shut my mouth and she could not.
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