Journal - Sept. 27 - I have to begin doing this every night or it's not going to work. I like it here. There's just Bonny and her daughter, Sue. Sue is not quite twelve but, if I hadn't seen that on the school register, I'd guess she was at least three years older. She's already bigger than I, up top, not that I'm big or anything, but she's still really large for her age. She looks at me a lot, as if she knows something that she wants to tell me. I wonder what it is? Maybe I'm just imagining things? Anyway, I don't have to listen to the sounds of sexual intercourse every night. Or worry that Mr. Taylor is going to get in bed with me and rape me. I honestly believe that she would have let him. Maybe even egged him on.Dear Diary - I sure miss Bill. And Jan. Ever since they showed me how fun it is to do things, I want to do them all the time. I wonder if teacher does? She says she don't have a boyfriend so maybe she likes girls? But, if she does, maybe she's too shy or she thinks I'm too. Her roommate wasn’t supposed to be home, she said. But it turns out that she had missed her train and booked one for the next day. I could see the disappointment bordering on anger, in her eyes as she kept the phone.Like idiots, we sat on the stairs. “Well, this is it I guess. This is as far as it goes. This is a sign.” I could sense a trace of guilt in her as she said this.“I don’t know about signs, Vineeta. We both wanted this, not just you. Go easy on yourself.” I said.She forced a smile for my sake. But I knew she wasn’t alright about it.“Look at it this way: If this had never happened, would you have preferred wondering what it would be like all your life? We both know you’ve imagined it enough.”She chuckled at the provocation and hit my arm. “Ass! Like you haven’t imagined it enough.”“Oh trust me, I have. More than enough.”She was giggling and slapping my arm. “Okay, so what have you imagined enough? Care to say?”I slapped her arm back.“No seriously.” She said, “I want to.
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