’ Silence fell as Jean put the last of his omelet in his mouth. Aidan’s mind couldn’t seem to take in what Jean was saying. ‘What’re you talking about? Why would I be afraid of Rainey?’ Jean shook his head. ‘Not afraid of her. Scared to hell of the fact that she’s all you think about. Afraid of—’ ‘You’re not making any damned sense, Jean,’ Aidan said. ‘Look Aidan,’ Jean said. ‘Considering your past with Julia…well, you and I both know that you haven’t had the best experience with relationships. I think—’ ‘Okay, we’re done talking about this,’ for the second time that morning, Aidan shoved out of his chair, only this time he had no intention of sticking around to listen to Jean’s psychobabble. Jean’s brow rose, but he didn’t make a move to detain him. ‘Okay, we’re done,’ he said, ‘but can I say one more thing before you storm out of here?’ Aidan was already headed toward the stairway that would take him to the guestroom he’d slept in so he could get his things and go home for a change. All of a sudden I heard his little voice coming from around the corner at the top of the hill. Then I sawI him as he creasted the top of the hill and started to come down the street towards me. My heart started to beat fast and my hands got sweaty in antisipation to seeing him again. But I decided to it was going to have to be his move now and I was willing to accept the fact that I might have to just be his friend if nothing more if he would let me. I felt a little guilty but I also felt I had to do something to find another boy to be with. I didn't like girls sexually and I often tried to figure out why that was. Girls just didn't turn me on. I tried to think of touching girls (them) and having them love me back but I didn't feel anything inside that made me want to go find a girl even my age to be with. As he got a little closer to me, he looked up from talking to his friend he was with and gave me a big smile and waved at me as he started to skip into his.
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