Just to let you know, Prancer's not ignoring you, it's just one those terrible days that I'm sure he just would rather not revisit. You know, I never knew reindeer could scream so loud or for so long. I mean, we all saw what happened. You'd think he'd know that we knew it hurt. You know that old saying, 'this is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you'? After seeing that, no one, except Prancer, gets to say that anymore. So as to what really happened? I'm afraid that's something you'll just have to leave to your own imagination. Trust me, your imagination could never imagine something that bad. Thanks for the letter, Jill." Our next letter comes from Paul in Washington State. "Dear Santa, I've noticed when you talk, you keep switching back and forth between first person and third person. Would you please be decisive and just pick one and stay with it. It gets annoying listening to you when you do this." Well Paul, I'm glad you brought this up. Santa was just thinking about. I stripped naked and made my way into my:a) sister's,b) mother's,c) aunt's,d) transvestite uncle's,bedroom and sat at the dressing table. Despite the fact that I had never used nailpolish before and even though my:a) sister,b) mother,c) aunt,d) transvestite uncle,could return home at any time without warning, I painted my finger and toenails perfectly first time. Even though I had never used cosmetics before in my life, it seems that just by reading my:a) sister's,b) mother's,c) aunt's,d) transvestite uncle's,fashion magazines, I had learned enough to make myself up so that I looked like a supermodel.By some fortunate coincidence my:a) sister,b) mother,c) aunt,d) transvestite uncle,kept a selection of good quality wigs so I selected a:a) shoulder length blonde,b) black bob,c) waist length brunette,d) green and red mohawk,wig and set it neatly on my head. I looked stunning!I rummaged around in my:a) sister's,b) mother's,c) aunt's,d) transvestite uncle's,lingerie drawers and found.
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