’ He held her close, experiencing that warm bubble feeling he’d had earlier with Meghan, a gladness that he hadn’t let his own sorrow hurt his little ones. ‘I love you too, Katie bug.’ He squeezed once more and tucked her in, turning off the night table light and turning away. He paused when she called his name sleepily. ‘Daddy?’ ‘Yes, baby.’ ‘Did you remember that Maria is leaving to go home for Christmas tomorrow?’ His little worrier, he thought again with a small smile. ‘Yes, baby. I took time off work, remember. I’m staying home with you guys until she comes back.’ He heard her roll over and sigh as he turned to close the door. ‘Good.’ The light was on under Michael’s door and he knocked, waiting until he heard a reply before coming in. Michael was his image, just as Katie was her mother’s. He hadn’t hit a growth spurt, but was tall for his age, with dark hair that just teased at being black but in the light shown with red highlights. He had a long face, with big blue eyes that. I was nearly to the bottom of the stairs when I heard Xander say, ‘Woman, you come down here in what you think is a hush but I hear you clompin’ in them shoes a mile away. I know what you’re doin’,’ and I froze in my tracks. ‘Xander, I’m sorry,’ I muttered, as his shadow fell over me, ‘I know I said I wouldn’t but…SHE WAS OUR DAUGHTER, goddamn it!’ ‘Come on, then,’ he said gently, coming down the stairs to meet me. He took my hand and led me down the last two steps into the root cellar. He was nude and smelled of mint, having just showered, this glorious man for whom I’d long ago given up my so-called life in New York and come out to the flat plains of the Midwest. I touched the tribal tattoo on his chest, looked down at the red earth of the cellar floor, and said quietly, ‘I’ve been keeping the box there,’ pointing to a spot under a tarp. He nodded, went and got the box. Itt had been a total of seven years since our little girl had been born, but I remember that night like it was.
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