I'vebeen talking to jumpers on the Erskine bridge for three years now:probably a hundred of them. Some still jump; others don't." But now you want to come back? In my body?" My head swam, and Istruggled to remember what I'd been about to say."Only if you're done with it. For certain - and if you'll let me." I..." I felt terribly hot, and I realised I had double vision. "Ithink... the overdose..." Stick your finger down your throat!" Jasmine said urgently.I did so, and it caused me to vomit. Up came the horrible stew thatMacKinnon House always served on Wednesdays, and the semi-digestedtablets. I didn't feel much better."A lot of that garbage will have entered your bloodstream by now,"Jasmine reckoned."Good," I smiled grimly. "It looks like I'm finished here, then." Is this what you want?" Jasmine asked."It's messy," I said, wrinkling my nose at the smell from the puddle ofvomit on my bed, and on the floor. "But I think it's worked. I think I'mdying." You're certainly very fucked up,". My periods of doubt were frequent but brief, and interspersed with periods of absolute certainty. In two weeks she had broken the lease on her apartment and moved in. Her crackle-painted Louis XV chairs harmonized strangely with my sleek black Italian leather sofa. Her wardrobe astounded me. There were half a dozen duffel bags full of shoes and a small mountain of stylish, designer clothes in the middle of the living room. We'd spent the whole weekend moving her in. It was Sunday night. We'd finally finished getting the last few boxes and collapsed together on the couch, nestled in amongst a tulle petticoat and a bag of bathrobes. For a moment, I felt cold and numb; terrified, really. What the hell was I thinking... there was no way this could work... my god, she's here, she lives here now, she lives in my apartment... what the hell did I do? Then she wound both of her little arms around my arm and pecked my cheek. All of my doubts melted away in a warm haze, and I pulled her close..
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