Knowing that he holds a personal distaste for attorneys, I figured I’d cheer him up a tad before he went home. ‘Hey Danny,’ I began, yelling across the room. ‘A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates. ‘$50.00 for three questions,’ replied the lawyer. ‘Isn’t that awfully steep?’ asked the man. ‘Yes,’ the lawyer replied, ‘and what was your third question?’ ‘That was pretty good, huh?’ ‘Well, it was pretty good when I first heard it — about three years ago,’ Dan muttered under his breath. ‘Okay,’ I continued, undeterred, ‘You’re trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?’ ‘Shoot the lawyer. Twice,’ Dan answered quickly. ‘Heard that one before too, huh?’ I mumbled. ‘So, Dan, who’d you vote for?’ I queried, trying to steer clear of the lawyer joke miasma. Well, no sooner had I launched my innocent obligatory conversational opening than did our resident angry (relatively) young man go. I was okay with that, but I wanted to make it a mutually satisfying and loving experience. To my disappointment, she acted like a whore. She pushed me down, jumped on me, jammed my penis into her cunt, and began pumping away. It was no more loving than masturbation. I’m sure you can see why I was distressed and wanted the benefit of your wife’s counsel.”DeRizzo’s temper had been getting hotter since Jake had said that he had had sex with Julie. There were distinct escalations with each crude word Jake used.Jake looked over at Greg who was looking on in fascinated horror. Jake winked at him in full view of Mr. DeRizzo.“Fielding, you have just earned yourself an ass whipping. Are you finished?”“Greg, you heard the threat, didn’t you?” Jake took another bite of his burrito and then turned back to DeRizzo with a smile. “No, I’m not done, Mr. DeRizzo. That was the tame part. I think you will find that it gets much better.“So where was I? Oh, yes. I went to talk to Leanne about Julie’s.
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