What has the United States of America done for us? Not much. Of course, fifty years ago, they liberated us from the oppression of the Nazis. Then less than ten years ago after persevering — often alone — for nearly 40 years more and after spending hundreds of billions of dollars and tens of thousands of American lives, they defeated the Evil Empire.“But what have they done for us lately?” He smiled as he continued, “Well, I’ll tell you what they did — or more accurately, what a single American did — affecting us here tonight. As you know, this gala is being held to benefit children left orphaned by the Soviet occupation.“First, I want to tip my hat to the wisest member of the government, the Home Minister’s ... secretary, Paula Wilhelm. While the rest of us were fearful about charging 2,500 crowns per ticket, she was fighting for a price of 25,000! After being dragged, kicking and screaming, she finally gave in at a price of 5,000 crowns.”He grinned and continued, “She did it to save. The young girl had on one of Jared’s large flannel shirts with sleeves that kept falling down over her hands. On her lower half Jared had put on an old pair of very warm track pants that were also way too big for the girl’s body. The material was all concertinaed up the length of each leg and the crotch was hanging down near her knees making her butt look way over-sized. The girl’s black hair was also still all matted up even though by now it was completely dry. Big tufts of it stuck out in all directions adding to the whole scarecrow affect of her appearance.As for the mother - well she didn’t look any better. Her dark hair was shooting out all over the place too and Jared’s baggy shirt and pants she had on also made her look deceptively over-sized in the butt department - just like her daughter.Neither Jared nor Mrs Clusky dared show the girl or her mother a mirror. The shock of what they would have seen might have killed them both quicker than Mrs Clusky’s elephant gun could have..
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