All it required was the will and the right wardrobe.It was so tempting. However much I resisted all that bullshit about awoman's appearance, since I'd turned female the pressure on me wasalmost tangible. I could not avoid the avalanche of ad images inmagazines, on billboards and TV. Slim women, perfect women withstatuesque figures and faces smoothed into flawlessness by PhotoShop. Itdidn't matter how conscious I was of it, how much I worked torationalize it away. It made me feel self-conscious of my looks, of mynondescript features, my sagging tits and my pear-shaped figure. Bodyfascism had gone to work on my soul.Of course the moral decision would be to reject the judgment of others.Accept myself for what I was, sags, hips, unsightly hair, cellulite andall. But I was a moral coward at heart. "The Medallion is a second chance," I'd once told Simone. "I feel noguilt in using it."I still didn't. An opportunity like this almost never comes aroundtwice. It would be criminal not to take. “These are all yours!” I was told. She wrapped me in a big hug. “This is so exciting!”“Ancient Chinese curse - ’May you live in exciting times!’”“You’re just a fuddy duddy!”“Let’s go.” I loaded Marilyn back into my car and headed, not towards Tusker and Tessa’s to retrieve Charlie, but kept going, down to the Dodge dealership in Timonium.“Where are we going?” asked my wife.“You’ll see.” I pulled into the lot and parked in front of the showroom. “Out!” I ordered.“What are we doing here?” she asked.I smiled at her. “Do you honestly think you can cram Charlie and a pair of twins into your midget-mobile? You need something a bit bigger.”“I like my Toyota just fine,” she protested.I nodded. She had liked her Toyota, but way back when, on the first trip through, after she drove her first Dodge Caravan, she fell in love with the whole minivan idea and kept buying them for the next thirty plus years, even after the kids were out of the house. “Just give it a shot. You need the room.”We.
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