Sandra had always been a great beauty – but as far as men and women were concerned, and her concerns had always begun and ended with both sexes – being beautiful was what made them approach her.Sandra had been at her teen aged prime in the mid-1970s and she had kept a seventies look stubbornly and instinctively, without any of the thoughtful premeditation with which Charmaine, Mary-Ann and Nelly, her sisters, approached their appearances.She was five feet nine and her black hair hung long and straight to her shoulders. Shorter strands of hair were encouraged to fall over one eye or even into her mouth, to be casually puffed away in charming impatience. Her eyes, bright and brown, were always heavily fringed in frank layers of black mascara; her small, fine nose and tiny, delicate nostrils had the charm of a childs. Her mouth was dainty yet deeply curved and it pouted in an enchantingly infantile way above her well-formed chin. Her skin was so perfectly pink and white that it gave. Immediately, I went to close the window so I wouldn't have to look at it anymore. But then I remembered why I had searched for it.John needed to see it. I needed him to see it. If it still had that kind of effect on me, it was truly an important piece of my childhood. I needed to explain it to John so he would know and understand.The only way I could do that would be to show it to him.My hand shook as I guided the mouse over to print the picture. Then the price caught my eye. It was only ten or twelve dollars. Why not just buy one for him?What the Hell was I thinking! For God's sake, why would I want one of those things IN MY HOUSE?!I started crying again. The terrible truth was unavoidable. I needed it. More than that, I needed to give it to John. I needed him to own it. It's almost as if I needed him to strangle that old white-haired bitch - or maybe beat the crap out of her the way she - and my mother - had beaten the crap out of me.I put the throw-pillow down - only then.
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