I was thinking this guy takes his job too serious. He said, “Now the shoes.”I said, “Is all this really necessary?”He said, “Who knows, you may have forgotten to pay for those shoes your wearing. I need to check them out.”I removed my shoes and handed them to him. He looked inside the shoes and the bottoms and decided they were really mine. He said, “Now remove your jeans.”I said “I can just empty the pockets”. He said, “Off.”This was strange over a $59 pair of sunglasses but I lowered my jeans and handed them to him. He said, “Do I have your permission to look in your pockets.”I said, “Go ahead You won’t find anything.”He examined every pocket and turned my jeans inside out checking the stitching as if I was a big time d**g smuggler.When he was satisfied that nothing was hidden in my jeans, I thought this was about over until he said, “Now the underwear.”I said, “You can’t hide anything in underwear.”He said, “I’ve seen other try, now drop them.”Unreal, I was being strip searched. That was immediatelyfollowed by a "splat" sound and a feeling of warmth and wetness on mybreasts. I looked down in horror to find that the tightly stretchedfabric of my blouse had finally given up and had split open. Worse,unencumbered by my blouse, my breasts had fallen out and were now lyingin my plate of spaghetti. I quickly reached down and tried to stuff themback into my blouse, but with the fabric torn there was no way I couldkeep them covered up. Even worse was the fact that my breasts werecovered with spaghetti sauce and holding them was like trying to holdtwo greasy water balloons - they kept slipping out of my hands. At first there was a moment of silence in the restaurant and then a buzzof excited conversation as the other diners realized my predicament. Ijust sat there, trying to (unsuccessfully) cover up my tomato saucedrenched breasts with my hands, and crying and softly moaning, "Noooo.Noooo. Noooo." Craig came to my rescue as he ran to the kitchen,grabbed a large.
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