There is a hole in me where Pat was supposed to be, but I was surrounded by love in Carlita and Dave.They gave me a ring."Dave cannot marry you officially, Brindy," Carlita said. "But rest assured, you are married to us. We are married to you."We're all together, and all really confused as to how this is supposed to work. King-sized bed is certainly big enough for the three of us. Actually, I was quite happy sleeping with them in their old queen bed.Pat loved me, I know, but Dave and Carlita? Yes, they do. They're not trying to substitute for Pat in my life, they've given me a life after Pat.The first morning ... the day after Pat's accident. Dave ... affirmation of life. I cried. I cried for losing my Pat. I cried for being alone. I cried because Dave and Lita told me that I was loved and wanted and Dave was inside me and Lita was in the bed with us, kissing us both, touching Dave in ways that she knows will make him come in me.Since then the three of us have made love many times.. And not the last time. In my dreams are we on a journey around the world. Our personal journey. It’s at the Chinese Wall where I dream about.It’s a beautiful as always in my memories. I will never forget the day that I was on the top of theWall. The experience of so much history made a huge impact on me. The snow on themountains. The big city covered in snow. It’s all there in my dream. I show you our tour in the old city of Beijing. Having tea in a Chinese teahouse. It’s if I smell the odor of fresh tealeaves. But maybe It’s something you do around me.Our trip to Mitanyu is as beautiful as it was then. With your help I accomplish my last wish. It’s amazing how I feel. As reborn. It’s hard to find peace on this day. Too much people who disturb my peace. My inner peace. My prayers. It’s you who gives me the peace I need.The same peace will I find at the Ming Graves. A lot of memories are coming through, even in my dream. The people who have their small stores at the foot of the hill.
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