I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy photographs don't do me justice -they just look like me.-Phyllis DillerI admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.-Phyllis DillerTranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.-Phyllis DillerI asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'-Phyllis DillerThe reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.-Phyllis DillerYou know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.-Phyllis DillerBest senior pick up line:A very elderly gentleman, walks into an upscale. I gave him a naughty smile.After about 20 mins there was a calling bell, he gave me signal in he eye to open and he pretend like busy on laptop.. As I moved from bed to open the door, he said darling… Why dont you remove your the bikini top? I asked him if he is serious and he will get sweated again and nervous like theatre incident… He challenged me that I am fattu and I wont find get any customer. He went on saying that I need to act like a prostitute if you want to be one.I told him shut and went to answer the door with out removing it…. He started to smile like he is winning and I dont want to give up…. I went back to him and told him that he is fattu and I am not the girl who he married 3 years back…I added saying I am a prostitute today and he is my pimp… I removed both the bikini top and bottom throwed it on his face and said “Lets see if you have the guts to take this” I walked to the door fully naked having a hand on the door nob and looked back at him.. He was very nervous.
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