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You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)You think eye contact is an act of aggressionORYou can retire to Minnesota where...You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.You have seventeen recipes for casserole.Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.The highest level of criticism is “He is different,” “She is different,” or “It was different!”ORYou can retire to The Deep South where...You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.“Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.“He needed killin” is a valid defense.Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe Bob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.Everything is either: “in yonder,” “over yonder” or “out yonder.”You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say “Bless his heart” at the end!ORYou can move to Colorado where...You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your. I helped get that started," I said."When will that happen?" Mike asked."Honestly, I haven't asked. The band plays some weird choral rock style that I've never heard before, so I haven't paid attention. I guess Dad is supposed to be one of the chorus singers, and that's how they'll get him onto the plane," I said."And how have you survived? And where is our sister?" Mike demanded."Dude, I survived. The house is intact and until you showed up it was clean. Matti is fine except for wanting to be fourteen so she can test," I said."She'll never get a good score ... Wait! What the fuck are you doing with two babes? I thought your score was no better than mine!" Mike turned around and both of his hands clenched.Ashley and Lenore backed away as I dropped into a fighting crouch."I never said that," I pointed out. "All I said was that my score was disappointing." How disappointing could it be if you have two sluts hanging around you?" Mike said as he began moving forward. His hands were raised.
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