BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness......... then get a cat!You thought I was gonna say ... marry a man, didn't you?Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.Send this to all the men just to annoy them!You... ... have a GREAT Day!!!Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.We don't stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing.I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder to find them.This one is compliments of SamThere are a few repeats but they are worth a second readUnderstanding Engineers #1:Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"The. “Not quite” Jane said. “You know that new handy man I told you about who started last week.” I replied that I remembered. “Well he’s got the most gorgeous cock and he simply loved fucking me up the arse on my desk this evening.” Well, I nearly spat my tea out, but that was my wife for you!It turns out that Kenny, the new handy man, is in his late fifties despite Jane thinking him to be younger. He’s black too! Tall, lean with hands like a professional goalkeeper according to Jane, “He just couldn’t keep them to himself” she said. Jane had already decided that she fancied him and, when she was the only one left in the office with him as he went about his work, she began making small talk. “I sat on the edge of my desk and he stood in front of me chatting about his family. He has the most gorgeous smile but he also has bad body odour and his breath stinks. I could see his chest as his overalls were unbuttoned and he looked quite hot and sweaty. As we talked I let him know by body.
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