I think you will discover soon. I will want you to tell me all about it. I will, believe me, derive pleasure from your discomfort. Do you feel despair? Despair is important too. Only you can decide whether you feel hope or despair. I want you to feel despair. I want you to know that there is no chance of you ever regaining my respect. I will continue to tolerate your repulsive, cringing presence as long as you work hard for that toleration, but you will never change my mind. We will continue to sleep apart until the two years is up. Then my lawyer will take care of the rest. Your solitary sexual pleasure will be the privilege and frustration of an occasional teasy squeeze or rub from me, gingerly through your cotton panties or through that cheap nylon you sometimes wear. Of course, it may turn you on to imagine me making love with my future boyfriend or my future husband. Know that I will WANT to suck their delicious cocks, that I will WANT to be fucked by them and that. There is a metal skeleton inserted, spanning the gap between the vertebrae. And then I remember the fine surgical scar I have seen on Gaspazha's body. The picture is her!Neena has finished her search. Picking up a pale blue pashmina, she turns and realises I have been gazing at the little picture. Our eyes meet and I quickly cast mine down. I am worried that I should not have looked. I have violated her privacy. She speaks, looking first around the room, checking to see I have completed my tasks to her satisfaction. "Well done rabinya Vyerochka! Today Gaspazha Alana needs you in Moscow. We will go together." She gathers up a handbag and some items of makeup from her dressing table and then walks across to where I am kneeling."Yes: the x-ray photograph is me," she says. "I used to be in the Army. I had an accident parachuting and broke my spine. The metal plates held my vertebrae whilst they healed. I was discharged, of course and Gaspadeen Kustensky gave me a job. Training new.
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