I didn't need to go to work; the world would keep spinning about its axis without me; I could have gone back to bed and sleep. Standing, though, had shifted the weight of my bladder. I decided to see to it before bringing a cup of tea back to bed.I cruised his lounge room as the kettle came to a boil. It wasn't a room I was comfortable in. It was stainless steel and black and hard. An oversize television screen dominated the space. Everything had its place. It was the sort of room only visited even by its owner. I had been going out, and sleeping in, with him for almost a year but that remained the picture I had of him. He had all the toys --- tailored suit; red sports car; straight cut hair; straighter teeth; shiny trinkets --- but it were as if he kept the real him tidied out of the way. I picked up a small wire sculpture of an a****l. A pig? It did nothing for me. I put it back in its place on the dustless sideboard. Maybe it was the challenge of excavating the real him that kept. I'd gone to habitat and purchased an old door, that I set up in the woods and shot. As soon as the shot went off, you could hear me screaming. Very little of it was acting, I had a lot of pent up rage, and I turned it loose."YOU CHEATING SLUT!" The shotgun went off again. "I'M GONNA BLOW HIS BALLS OFF! THEN I'M GONNA STICK THIS SHOTGUN UP YOUR CHEATING CUNT AND PULL THE TRIGGER UNTIL IT'S EMPTY! HERE I COME, BITCH."I bet I've watched the scene a hundred times, and still can't help laughing. They came flying out the front door, scrambling to their cars. All he had on was a white shirt, his pants, coat, and tie in his hands. I found his boxers on the bedroom floor later. I stepped around the house and started towards him. He screamed like a girl and jumped into his car. That's when he noticed the gift I'd left him.I'd taken two five gallon buckets, dipped about four gallons of septic fluid(and a few solids)in each, and divided the rubbers equally. Just before the gun went off inside,.
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