It was just another medication, after all. Mymother had a couple prescribed for me before, so what was the harm?My mother told me what they were going to be working on with me, and I agreed.The problem was, I was seeing shadows where there really wasn't any. Somepart of me knew what my mother was saying was wrong, but of course, motherknows best, and I generally agreed with what she was saying. Maybe if Iworked on what my mother told me, she would see the light. She had alwayswanted me to talk to other people, especially other kids, so why not? Formost of my life I'd loved being with older people. Maybe it was time Ichange that idea. But there were times that I thought everything she wasdoing, everything that I was let happening, was utterly wrong. The same oldconflict, just newer things to think about.Here began a social life, something like it anyway. I tried to tell thepsychologist again and again what I was, that I knew what could be done to helpme. It didn't get much attention.. But I was on a mission. I walked at a moderate pace, it didn't take long before my thoughts consumed me. "I wasn't ready for this, I'm scared, what if he hurts me, who exactly is this guy, he might try to kill me, what the hell am I doing." A vibration in my pocket, I looked at my phone and my heart sank. It was him. What do I say? I was drawing in closer to my destination, by now my heart was in the pit of my stomach. I swallowed my spit and my legs started shaking as he started to walk close to me, I'm still not sure if that was from the cold or my nerves. I saw his face and everything suddenly felt a little better. The way we talked to each other, both trying to establish dominance with one common agenda that tonight something was going to happen. We walked back to my dorm room, immediately we changed out of our almost frozen clothes. I gave him a quick tour of the room which wasn't much to show. My 12x5 or so foot room which has two beds, two dressers, two desk and tiny bathroom.
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