He led her back to his office and sat down at his desk. Tracysat in a recliner he had there. She hadn't seen it there when shewas there before. He told her he sat in it to read when things wereslow. Tracy said, "I have to tell you something awful I did. I heardfrom someone that you pulled into Porter's Motel with Sarah in thecar last week. Then Jean told me you made a direct pass at her. AllI could think was that you were playing around on me. I felttotally humiliated and very angry that you could do something likethat to me. I wanted revenge." Ralph was stunned to think that she could even think he wouldcheat on her. He saw tears forming in her eyes. He had never seenher cry before. He said, "It can't be that bad. Tell me all about it." "I talked to Jean and she told about a pill that wouldn't let you get erections. I told her to get them for me and I was giving themto you in your drinks. They worked. Jean said they might cause youto grow breasts and I said I hoped they did.. "You do." And then she kissed me.Freud reckoned people have three levels in their personality. The 'ego' is the conscious part that we think of as the self. We also have the 'super-ego', often called the conscience, and the 'id'. Now the 'id' is our collection of instinct, animal, biological drives and in theory the ego is balanced between the id and the super-ego. In some, the super-ego severely limits what a person will allow him or herself to do; in others, the id has almost free rein.What I'm saying here is that for almost a year my conscience had prevented me from even thinking about any of the girls as potential partners, but Julie's distress had weakened my resolve to keep my distance. Her physical contact made me aware – you might say, painfully aware – of her desirability and my 'lackanookie' condition. The last shreds of restraint dissolved in the effects of that kiss and when she took her lips away ... not far ... I followed and kissed her back. She tasted sweet, with.
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