"Wasn't he even listening to her, she had just told him ... but then again, she looked out into the leaden gray sky that had started to darken and the rain spilling down the window. In front of her was her damn paper which wasn't getting written and she felt bored at the thought of studying for hours ... and she wondered about what was waiting in the crow's nest.So she sighed and stood up, and picked up her computer and her items to stash them some place while ... while she checked out the crow's nest. After doing that, she walked towards where the entrance to the crow's nest and when she reached it, she reached out to try the door knob, expecting it to be locked. Maybe someone had just been playing with her and no one was up there waiting at all.But it turned loosely in her hand and the door opened, with a slight groan and she saw a flight of stairs ahead of her and up above, some lighting from the nest itself. So she grabbed the banister and walked slowly up the stairs.Carefully. "When you guys were getting relief in history this morning, I watched you two. I'm willing to bet almost anything JR got off because you were having so much fun, more than he would have if it was just him and Kimmy. You had your eyes closed most of the time, you couldn't see the way he was looking at you, —I could."You had lust on your face, JR had love on his, love for you. So, you can beat yourself up, or you can do what you want to. Either way, JR is still going to love you, Jackie."That was sobering. When Kimmy said it, it sounded so simple. Why was I grappling with my feelings so much? Was having sex with a couple of guys so wrong? Was it wrong if JR did the same thing? The real question was could I handle it if JR did—or if I did? I needed time to think, something I seemed to be doing a lot of lately.When I showered with the guys, I let them wash me and do the things they normally did. I didn't let any of them finger me long enough to make me come. After PE, I met JR in the.
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