Somebody had informed; Butch had his coverblown, and he was shot up and left for dead. I resolved to not restuntil I had nailed down that syndicate, and now I have. But what keptButch alive in spite of his injuries was the thought of seeing you,holding you, his little boy."You never saw anybody's eyes light up like his did when he saw you,There I was in one bed in the local hospital while he was in another.But I got to see him smile. so luminous, and say, "little Butch, mylittle Butch, my little guy..." and he held you with such a look ofpeace on his face and we just let him keep on holding you as long as hecould... It was not long enough, he was soon taken from us. During thatinterim, my doctors told me something that I never told him. I was notsure he could bear it, I knew he was going to die anyway, and he was sohappy with you, and I knew he would love you no matter what but I didn'twant to spoil his dream of having a, "little Butch" in the world, alittle mister Mullens to carry. By then too I figured, the little residual negative feelings I had about June, would be gone.I know now when she left it was true sadness she was expressing. Like I've already mentioned, I realize that must have been a difficult decision for her. Katie was quite confused but accepted the fact she was going to go live with her dad.I'd missed both of them as I rearranged my solo life. I didn't want another loss in my life like that again so I'd shut down. I'd had a few short term relationships after June but I never let them get serious.Sure I'd had some sex with a few of my dates along the way but back then I'd known if I'd allowed myself to commit to anyone else, how devastated I would be if they hit me with another breakup. I just never really allowed myself to get close to anyone after June.Also, seeing what had happened with June, you know, Katie, I always wore protection. I didn't want to be trapped into a relationship either. I hoped for June's sake that wasn't the case with the.
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