Instead of the hangover I had expected, Portia was bright eyed, bushy tailed and distinctly coquettish around Harry and I know a girl who’s been well fucked when I see one. My, my; who’d have seen that coming?She continued to loathe me and vice versa but she had definitely crossed a line. Harry decided by the end of the tour that he was going to have to pack it in because, he told me, she had embraced heterosexuality with huge enthusiasm and he feared for the safety of his penis.Some years later I was, as recounted in my previous chronicle, a member of the Royal Western Repertoire theatre and, under the skilled management of George Clutton, I was getting a lot of experience. My agent, Flick Caterham, wanted me to agree to a second season and when Flick wants something, well, she gets it. It wasn’t all bad to be fair, mainly because Elizabeth Wigram, the heiress to the local brewery company and as gay as you like, had taken a bit of a shine to yours truly so I was getting a lot of. ‘I take back my offer to have a horse at the ready for you. Until you can ride safely, you will refrain from doing so.’ ‘I said I was sorry, Jason — ‘ He frowned deeply. He tossed her over his knee. ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Punishing you.’ She fought him, but he held her firmly as he began to flip her skirts up. ‘This is uncalled for, Jason. You cannot punish me like a little girl caught steeling biscuits.’ ‘You nearly killed my horse and yourself. It calls for drastic measures, darling.’ She felt the cool breeze on her bottom, shielded only by the thin material of her drawers. ‘Jason, you cannot mean to actually punish me like this and — ‘ She let out a yelp of pain as the palm of his hand came down hard on her bottom. Shocked that he actually spanked her, she tried to wiggle out of his arms, turning her head just in time to see his hand make contact with her skin. ‘You forced me to this, Penelope. I warned you.’ ‘This is undignified, my lord!’ She shouted. ‘What you attempted was.
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