When she was nearby, when I could think about her, back there behind me in the stands, the fear -- if that's what it was -- didn't take hold of me.Superstition? Was that all it was? Maybe. But I had never been superstitious. I'd never cared about mystical stuff; it had always seemed like bullshit to me. I certainly didn't worry about black cats, or stepping on the baseline when I left the playing field.But now. I felt like a hitter when Sandy was there. I even forgot, a couple of times, to put on my Captain America goggles when I went up to the plate.But when Sandy wasn't there, I felt a little empty. Hard to admit something like that. It was like being kind of weak: it made me feel effeminate, even, although I knew there were plenty of women around who were as strong-willed as the strongest man.Whatever it was, I felt it. Maybe if Sandy wasn't around, my hitting slump would wear off, all on its own, and I'd be OK.But I doubted it, and, earlier, it had been driving me nuts, waiting. " You ain't do that ta her." I say again holding him tighter. Maybe if I hold him tight enough, I can keep him from doing it again."Bullshit." I was there. You didn't break her arm." This time." I don't like where he's going with this, "What about the next? Or the next girl?" You won't." I will." I can feel him shaking still, "I will unless somethin' stops me." You'll stop yourself." Bullshit."We're both silent for awhile. I ease my grip on him and he kind of curls up beside me."Ima turn myself in." He says finally."Ok." I swallow hard. If he serious, then I'm with him. "We'll both go." He looks up at me. "I'm an accessory. I didn't report the assault."Bullshit." He mutters."Dude, my Dad's an attorney. Trust me, you go down, I go down with you."He looks away again, "Shit."My arm's around his shoulder; his is around the small of my back. Suddenly the whole scene feels very, very gay. Two guys snuggled in a bathtub. The minute I have the thought, I feel a twitch. This is going to a.
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