I have regretted this decision ever since and to my shame; at times haveblamed my mum for not forcing the issue.Coward.Fast forward and my mental state and inability to deal with my conditionhave caused me to be unreasonable and confrontational. At approximatelyage21 my relationship with my parents, especially my father havedeteriorated beyond immediate conciliation. In secret, I negotiated amortgage and bought a house, moving out of their home whilst they were onholiday. It took a long time to rebuild a good relationship with the twoof them.Having moved into my own home, the temptation should have been to bewhatever and whoever I pleased, the reality though was that societalconstraints and the need to be accepted by my workmates ( my only peergroup as I had no one I could call a friend) meant that I felt anoverriding need to conform.I not only continued to hide the real me, I started to date a femalefriend of a male colleague. She was the first person I ever developed asexual. He dug a small flashlight out of his back pocket and turned it on, holding it in his mouth as he worked the dart out from the mountain lion’s fur, taking care not to injure it further. The dart had small barbs, enough to hold it in place so the tranquilizer inside could work its magic without being dislodged.Once the cage was closed and latched, he headed back inside, unloaded the rifle and ran a patch down the barrel before setting it in the rack alongside half a dozen of its more deadly brethren. He would have to be up about sunrise, so sleep was going to be lacking tomorrow, but it was not the first time by a long shot, and almost certainly not the last.Not bothering to get undressed, he kicked off his boots, stripped his pistol holster off and set it on the bedside table before laying back and closing his eyes. He was asleep almost instantly.The sun filtering through the cabin window woke him, just like on every other day, and he groaned as he levered himself up off the soft.
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