“Hi Michelle…but where are you?” I called across my front yard, amused and confused. “Wait… I’m here. Trying to get this…off me…” I homed in on the direction of her sweet voice which was interspersed with grunts and groans, sounds which indicated she was doing battle with something or other. I went to the small brick fence that separated our properties and found her frantically brushing at her hair and arms. “What happened?” I asked, stifling a laugh. “I was coming around the back of the car to say hello and ran into a spider’s web.” She continued to flap and brush at her hair and clothes. “I hate spiders!” “Oh, what tangled lives we lead!” I quipped. “Do you need a hand?” “No thank you Mister Funny Person. I think I have it all off now.” She glowered and then smiled. “Apart from the spider web, how are you?” I scanned her hair and clothes to see if there was any trace of the spider. I assured her there was no sign of the naughty critter; it looked like it was all web. I noted. "Look, you are mistaken,” I said.SLAP, her hand smacked my butt really hard. My butt stung. I desperately tried to buck, but she held me firmly. For my efforts, I got another smack in the butt. "Stay still or you will be sorry,” she said angrily. "But..", I tried to say something and got another stinging slap on the butt. "Shut up,” she said.By now she had walked through the hall way and kitchen. She opened the patio door and walked out to the backyard. I saw Ben sitting in a lawn chair his face still showing bruises from yesterday. "Who is it, Lauren?" Ben asked as she walked toward him. "It’s me, Ben,” I said. "Oh it’s you Jerry, I thought Rick and company came down for more pain,” said Ben casually. Lauren seemed a little confused. At least she didn't slap me. I was still amazed that she was still standing holding me like I weighed nothing. "Can you please let me go?", I pleaded to Lauren. "Yeah, Lauren, he actually tried to save me from the bullies,” said Ben. "Oh" said Lauren as.
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