.." She put her hands to her face, crushing the note to her cheeks."Where is he?" I asked, tempted to take her in my arms. Despite having her hair primly tied back and dressing in a rather old-fashioned, high-necked manner, she was obviously a fine looking woman."Over there," she said. "He's teaching some boys to work at the altar." Are you here alone?" There's my daughter. She's over there too, practicing on the pianoforte." You could introduce me as a friend, friend of your uncle or some such thing, paying an unexpected visit."She nodded and stood. I tucked her hand in my elbow, and she smiled up at me and leaned her head briefly to my shoulder. Her daughter met us along the path, a fair-haired copy of her mother, lithe and lovely. She curtsied with a wide smile and said to her mother, "He's about done."We walked to the back of the small church. "He serves three parishes, earns three wages, none of them very much." A youngster came from the back door, flipping a shilling in the air. She had grown up just naturally taking her mother's word for the fact that she was a worthless human being. Her mother had never really taken care of her or loved her, leaving the little girl pretty much on her own to fend for herself. Harriet's constant refrain was, "you are just so worthless and unlovable, why should I lift one finger to care for you".Little Julia had grown into adolescence and young womanhood in a near constant state of loneliness and silent rage directed at her mother who had remained distant and uncaring all those years. When not enraged, Julia suffered bouts of deep depression for months at a time, believing as she did that her mother must be right about her. She shied away from making friends with her play fellows for fear that anyone who came to know her would soon discover just how worthless she was. She never dated in high school or college. She kept up acquaintances with a few people she had gone to school with, but none of these people would ever have.
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