We’d drunk how many beers that night. She’d bought Kilkenneys and I’d exclaimed ‘You wonderful woman’ and gave her a kiss on the cheek and she had laughed. Now the mood was sombre, the night long, the TV a soporific bore. My heart was aching with loneliness and insecurity. I desperately wanted to kiss her, to fuck her, to be accepted by her, for her very essence to testify in thunderous waves my worthiness, my lovableness, my desirability. I needed her tonight, that was all that mattered, and her sadness bounced off me as if I was in a diving bell, impregnable. At that moment in time, that chance for love, like a silver sword upon vibrant sparks a future self came slicing through my aroused introspection. Forget your worries, it said to me, show some love to this beautiful soul. My bleary heart could barely stand to see myself standing there, beaming a great smile of stars. You want to be loved? Then share some love my dear friend. Don’t worry, you can do it. I looked to her, drunk. She was as attractive as I remembered her from the bank. She had just finished removing her blouse and was sitting in a chair wearing a bra and her skirt. My eye was drawn to the dark brown skin of her very flat and well-muscled abdomen. A technician was swabbing her slender left arm with alcohol just above her elbow. I saw her give a start and a small grimace as the technician penetrated her arm with an IV fitting and secured it in place. Then a small vial of a drug was connected to the IV fitting through some kind of valve and the vial and valve were also secured to her arm."This is all being done", the Doctor continued, "ahead of time so that we can remotely administer the Traumatholin drug at the appropriate time without having to interrupt the flow of therapy." When they first came to us Tanisha admitted that she would freeze up with anxiety or anger or both whenever she would sense any signs of sexual arousal in Leroy. He could not make a move toward intimacy without evoking.
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