"Sure we can," I said, my upper lip so stiff that any Englishman would have been proud of me."No, we can't," she said. "When I'm around you I can't think properly." Oh," I said, stunned."But I don't want to talk about this on the phone," she said.It's just like a woman to say you can't do it this way, and you can't do it the other way, and those are the only two ways of doing it you can think of."You want to write me a letter?" I asked.I know it was stupid. I'm a guy. Cut me a little slack."No," she said mournfully. "What are we going to do, Bob?"I could think of a dozen things I wanted to do with her... to her. Six years of college had pounded enough intelligence into me that I know that wasn't what she was talking about, though."Do we have to... do anything?" I asked."This is all your fault," she said."Of course it is," I said heavily."I mean it!" she said, her voice rising. "I was finally getting used to the idea that... well that I didn't have a man in my life... that I didn't. "You get that it's not necessary," I told JoAnne. "Plus I don't think your mom is going to let this one fly."I looked hopefully at Lauren. She was staring between the vampire and me. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach."I know about my daughter's dream," Lauren said finally. "This is it. I'm sure of it!" Hey, look who joined the party!" Brian said to Lauren."She's yours," the vampire said, looking at me. "You can still give her to me!" First of of all, my name is not Reverend or Priest whatever-or-ever," I said. "I wouldn't give you a dying Shadow's bloody turd. Giving up a female? Lady, it's not happening!"I stared at JoAnne's naked teenage body. "Really not happening!" But it doesn't fucking matter,, " I said. "Jo, I'm going kill the vampire anyway."Lauren gasped and her eyes widened at the nonchalance of my tone of voice.JoAnne stared at me for a few seconds. "If you can kill a vampire, I am going to get in line to be staked by you." Soooo much trouble..." Brian whispered.The.
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