I’d drop tobacco all over the floor, get the paper too wet and crunch the whole thing together so at the end all I accomplished was making a wadded paper mess which might have held just the kernel of tobacco. Elmer would just smile and say, “Try it again John.” Elmer and I never watched the fights. I loved Elmer, he was my hero, he was smoke. Funny, I thought as I drove home to my wife of thirty years, “I hadn’t thought of Elmer for years. Hell I must be going through withdrawal already and I hadn’t even stopped.” Since I hadn’t yet quit smoking, I pulled into the Convenient Store to buy another pack of cigarettes. Being Christmas Eve, the store was empty except for the clerk and a small man painting the walls who reminded me of another from the time of smoke. Derk was a friend of Dad’s and in the fall they regularly hunted pheasants with their English setter dogs. He was a small man about five and half feet tall who always wore white pants and shirt when working. He was the only man. The long ride gave me plenty of time to think about the night ahead of me and what I wanted to do when I saw her. The slight bulge in my jeans a reminder that it had been almost a year since we had last seen each other and about six months since the last time I had sex. I guess six months is what it takes to get me out on a night like this. I remember clearly thinking to myself that I was a slave to my testosterone and that this was ridiculous but I drove on. As I got closer and closer to my destination the rain started to clear up. Since I didn’t know the area, Lori told me to meet her in a warehouse parking lot that was just off the highway. I pulled into the lot and got out of my car leaving the driver side door open to listen to the music. I stood there leaning against the door smoking a cigarette when I saw her pull up along side of me. I leaned down thinking she was going to roll down her passenger side window and tell me to follow her but she hopped out of her car and ran over.
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