“I feel kind of hurt. I thought that you would sneak up and give me a kiss this morning.” “You wouldn’t mind?” “Mind? I slept with you last night with your penis between my legs. Doesn’t that mean anything? We’re not exactly strangers.” She laughed like she was enjoying herself and her added fingers plied my anus twisting deeper. I suddenly was taken with that and I really stretched and bent over with a moan as my wonderful crazy penis let fly.I stopped still, looked down and felt stupid, ashamed. I was caught in the moment, my middle now aroused-focused on what she was doing to me. I felt like I was being disciplined by a parochial master, perhaps a nun in a very erotic way using her oaken pointer to stick up my butt in front of fellow students. “I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I don’t know how to act.” “NO! I’m sorry for teasing you. You are a sweety-sensitive one aren’t you? I shouldn’t pick on you until we know each other better. Hug me and give me a smile.”I. I stopped wearing make-up, or dressing nicely, just for the fun of it. I stopped being me. I was simply this mass of sorrow, grieving for what I had lost, though I didn’t realize how much I had lost. Somewhere in the equation of Mike and Ruth, I lost myself. I lived only for those stolen moments on the phone, or that furtive note in my mailbox, scribbled on the back of an Ingles receipt. So when in February of 1996, my boss asked me if I would be willing to spend the last two weeks of the office conversion in Baltimore, I agreed to go. I needed a change. I needed to be able to look out a window without hoping to see him. I needed to breathe air that was new and untouched by him. So I got on a plane and cried for a couple of hours, flying away from the only man I believed would ever love me, or desire me. I was 22 at the time. I have never thought I was pretty. I am different, exotic maybe, but not pretty. I have dark hair, olive skin and green/brown eyes. My eyes have a slight.
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