. I couldn't tell her. I didn't know what to say, how to say it. I didn't know how she'd react... she counts the days, you know, since the last one. Each day, in her diary, she starts with a number..." You're scared." Hope wrapped an arm around her. "But you do have to tell her." I know... but... how the hell do I tell her that? Now? Just when she's gotten used to it being gone?"Neither of them had a good answer.When the doorbell rang again, Hope was too caught up in Elspeth's worries to feel nervous, and opened the door distractedly expecting to see her father."Faith!" she laughed, as her sister smiled at her over the blanket-wrapped baby she carried. "Daddy didn't say you were coming." Surprise." Quickly shifting the baby to one hip, she reached out to wrap her free arm around Hope's shoulder and pull her in for a tight hug. "He's struggling on his own." She whispered, then pulled away, the smile fixed firmly back in place as she nodded towards the flat. "Dad's bringing the. He was done. His transformation was complete. He was no longer Dhiren, but Dhiksha, as he liked to think. As ever when he was dressed up, Dhiren felt a tremendous rush of sexual energy and his thoughts immediately turned to men.But Dhiren’s clothes, make-up and jewelry were cloaking a secret sadness. He knew it even though he tried to deny it to himself. It was a sadness he was increasingly trying to drown in alcohol, which was becoming a worry to him. He desperately needed a boyfriend, but he was too shy, too frightened of people, to go out and find one. He looked back with horror to his early teens, when he had to endure a great deal of nasty name calling and bullying at school because of his delicate, feminine ways.That had made him turn in on himself and become very isolated. To Dhiren’s credit, however, he had fought back through sheer hard work and his sharp intelligence. He became one of the best students at his school and had gone on to College, where he studied computer.
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