He was studying history and was brilliant to listen to. We struck up a fast friendship and quickly became inseparable. It wasn’t a “love connection” really. I preferred a different kind of man. But as a friend, he was closer to me than almost anyone. We studied together, hung out together, laughed together. We talked about everything.We were at his apartment and the movie we were watching had long ended. Our conversation had meandered through the usual gripes and gossip and had settled on past relationships. Neither of us had much experience with relationships and we ended up laughing at our “sad” list of conquests. I hadn’t opened up about my past and really couldn’t explain to him that my only relationship was with a very controlling dad who didn’t let me date. I did have a boyfriend or two that my dad never found out about, but I had to be so careful that they never lasted long or went very far.We lamented our lack of “game”, joking about how we might both die alone. “But, I could. It’s just who you are. Now shut up.??Aaah?.??I said, shut up!??Gnnnnn..??Now, let’s carefully place two water balloons on your face.??Two? Are you trying to kill me???Let’s say so. Now, be completely still while I step on your face with my shoes and crush those water balloons on your loser face.??Whatever??(Pop! Splash!)(Pop! Splash!)?Loser! Loser! Haha! I feel so good dancing on your loser face.??Mmmmph..??But now, look at my shoes. They’re all wet and it’s all your fault.??I’m sorry.??Sorry is just not going to cut it. I’m going to kick your face ten times as punishment.??But you’re the one who??(Whap!)?What were you going to say???N..nothing. I’m sorry.?(Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap!)?How does it feel, taking kicks from my wet shoes on your face???(Sobs.)?(Whap!?.Whap!)?Ahh, loser took ten kicks from me. That is sweet. Now you better be plenty sorry, loser.??I’m sorry.??Sorry for what???For being a sorry ass loser who made your shoe wet.??Good. Now, I want you to kiss my shoes and.
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