I'm just not like that, it doesn't bother me. I just do it becauseit feels right, and who gives a fuck what anyone else says." For thefirst time that afternoon, Kyle could hear the same old Chris speaking tohim - it was like nothing had changed. Any yet they had, in such adramatic way."All I know is that I've always been aware of it, always had it. I'dwatch any shit TV that even slightly involved crossdressing. Ex-boy bandmembers dress up to form a girl group, 'There's something about Miriam',Sean Bean's crossdressing drama, Drag Race. It's always fascinated me.And I've had periods when I've really repressed it, carried on likenormal. 'Purged' I think they call it." She answered before he asked theinevitable question, "It's when you get rid of your stash of clothes thatyou've built up; you decide this shit isn't for me anymore and you throwit all away and you pledge to become a 'real man'. But it never goesaway, not really."Kyle definitely could identify with that notion, his method. My mind was running through the events of the day once more, events that had unleashed a storm of emotional, and I'll admit sexual feelings that I'd held suppressed for many years."Come on, Elizabeth," I admonished myself out loud, "It's not going to happen so don't even think about it." The trouble was I'd done nothing but think about 'it' for the last three hours, ever since my interview with Mister Hayles had come to a somewhat surprising conclusion.How had that young man managed to turn a simple disciplinary matter into a challenge?I made my way to the front room and opened the liquor cabinet and poured two inches of Glenfiddich into a crystal whiskey tumbler. My next stop was the icemaker where I added four of the cubes to the tumbler before I drifted out onto the deck to spend my usual half-hour relaxing after work.I swirled the drink, clinking the ice as I did so and sighed. I'm not beautiful by any stretch of the imagination though I've always liked to think that I'm not what.
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