There was a bit of dread about going through all that with diapers and a small human who thought it was the center of the universe again. But at the same time, she remembered the unadulterated joy of holding Jennifer in her arms ... of watching the little girl suck eagerly at a breast and murmur in her happiness of being held and fed. Other memories flooded her mind, and her tense face relaxed, as a dreamy smile slowly replaced frown lines.It was very different for Bobby. He had no previous experience to guide him. He felt the weight of the responsibility, as he thought of it, for causing a serious problem in Mindy’s life. Never once did he doubt that he had fathered the baby she spoke of. He firmly believed she was, in fact, pregnant. The way she had said it would be seared into his memory for years to come. Her voice had sounded like the voice of doom, somehow. He’d never held a baby in his arms. In his experience, the overriding things babies did was cry. And now, he had somehow. It got to a pointwhere the dreams were so real and I wanted them to come true sooo much.I used to lie in bed at night and pray to God for Him to let me changeduring the night; I wanted it so badly to happen. I told Sarah aboutthis time that I wanted to be a girl. As I said she was my best mateSimon's little sister, a year or two younger than us. I fancied herlike crazy but could never let on cause of who she was, Simon hated herand would never of forgiven me! Anyway, she thought it was hilariousand ran straight to her mum to tell her. I was mortified and didn'tmention my desires to another person for years.At this point though i had never managed to wear any girly clothes, myplan thus far had involved begging my mum for a sister, to no avail! Imust have been 11 when I finally had the idea to have a look in ourlaundry basket. Here I found some real delights. I was a bit freakedout by the fact I was going into my mum's things, as it was really theclothes of girls my age I was after but.
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