” He mumbled and wiped his trainers on the door mat as he followed the slim woman into the living room. Clarkie and Warren had grown up together and were still best friends but Warren’s family had moved to a much nicer part of town two years previously when his dad had been promoted at work and they didn’t visit each others’ homes as much as when they were younger. “Do you want a coffee or something?” Melanie asked. The boy shrugged his shoulders as he eyed a large glass of red wine sitting on the side table next to the sofa. “Whatever’s easiest?”“Would you prefer a beer?” She grinned. As her son was now 18 and Mel and her husband were quite liberal (and realistic) they let him drink alcohol in moderation, so giving Lee a bottle of beer was no real problem in her eyes.. “Please,” his face lit up, “if that’s okay.” Melanie wrinkled her nose as if to say ‘who are you kidding – I know you’ve all been drinking for years!’ The good looking, athletic teenager followed her. I thought about this all day. We either need to stop completely right now, or you need to let me know exactly what you expect from me. I want you to be happy, but I can’t just be on call whenever you feel you need me, not after last night. I won’t be able to stay in this house if I have to be near you and always wonder if you will want to be with me like that again. I’m afraid to even kiss your cheek because of what I may do.”John was right. I manipulated and used him to fill that empty spot in my life with little regard for the consequences. How could I have been so naive as to have thought that I would only have phone sex with John when I wanted to or believe that I could call him into my room or go to his room only when I was in the mood? We have been very physical with each other. Each time I allowed myself to go further than the time before. What about the next time? What would I be willing to allow, and what would John expect. What would I do if he came to my bedroom uninvited?.
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