I’ve been thinking a lot about us since I got home from the hospital. And as much as I like and respect you, I don’t want to settle for anything but real love in my marriage.’ ‘Lexi you know I care for you and I think we could be good together,’ I interrupted. Remember that sinking feeling? Well it was back, I didn’t want her to go. ‘I know and I care for you too, but it’s not enough for either of us. If the baby had lived we might have made a good life together. My dad is coming to pick me up and then I’m going to go live with my aunt in Washington State. Please don’t hate me James.’ Those were her final words and she kissed me on the cheek as she went to answer her father’s knock at the door. John helped her with two suitcases, gave me a little smile and said that he was sorry. I watched her walk out of my life. I could have argued and debated with Lexi, but I wasn’t sure of my feelings for her. Was it losing her that bothered me or losing the idea of us as a family that caused. Realizing that such an update would harm Anna as much as it would have harmed me, I set off to find her first and warn her.As I took what some might call my first complete independent action, I also realized that I really wanted a memory update like Frieda's for myself. I would be able to accomplish so much more if I had it. I knew I wasn't likely to ever get one, since it was hardly necessary for the functions I was already performing.I also learned how Frieda managed to perform that marvelous walk of hers, though I wouldn't have it down perfectly until I gave myself taller heels - and the proper feet to wear them - much later in life.Looking back on this event some people have said it was my first flash of true awareness, even if it didn't last beyond the moment. I won't dispute this. I did just describe this as, " I took what some might call my first complete independent action."Many self-aware robots have since admitted that they experienced a number of brief flashes of self long.
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