And meYou know what it's like to live in fear? Gran had a baby dress hangingon my door where I couldn't avoid seeing it. Being Samantha was hell butbeing a baby Samantha was beyond hell. I could survive hell, I'm notsure I could survive being a baby again. I would just be prolonging themisery.Instead I went overboard. I became a little Lolita. Mom and gran were sohappy I wasn't fighting them anymore that they gave me just aboutanything. Those clothes are expensive and I kept asking for more. Ilooked at them like costumes. Halloween 365 days a year. Every time Isaw a new dress online I had to have it. Mom would groan and I'd use thelittle girl pout and smile until she gave in. Samantha had never beenlike that but then she was an adult in a child's body. I was too but Iknew how to play mom and gran.I got them to enter me in beauty pageants, more expense, more acting andI was really lousy. The last thing I wanted to do was win. I just wantedmom and gran to drop a bundle of cash trying to. She and he are now very secure in their marriage. She said for them it's basically just fucking other people for the excitement."When Crissy told me this, she laughed and said "It's more than that, Janie. We do have to like the people we share that with. We are discriminating on who we allow into our sex lives. We've talked about Bill and you...", her voice trailing off."Oh my gosh, Crissy! You have got to be kidding!" No, not at all, Janie. Em finds you very attractive and I think Bill is just a dreamboat", she said as she giggled."Don't you think Em isn't just the hawtest thing you ever saw?"Janie agreed and as they continued to talk Crissy asked me if I wouldn't love to be with Em as a lover. "I'll be honest, Bill. I have thought of what Em would be like in bed. I know you've thought the same of Crissy. I've seen how you look at her when you think no one is noticing. Women always notice, Bill."The interior voice piped up. "Damn, busted Billy boy". Bill replied to it with a "fuck.
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