It was a big thing for me, finally being able to sleep, and I slept like the dead. It was after dark before I even woke up. The faint glow of the moon gave my room an eerie luminescent pigment that made my pupils widen. I glanced out at the night before me and my heart started to beat harder. I thought of the poet Rilke that instant and his words that I had once read."Only the individual who is solitary is like a thing subject to profound laws, and if he goes out into the morning that is just beginning, or looks out into the evening that is full of things happening, and if he feels what is going on there, then his whole situation drops from him as from a dead man, although he stands in the very midst of life."The truth of that paragraph had always astounded me but also made me realize yet another difference that I had with everyone else. I liked my solitary situation and felt uneasy without it. Whenever I went to class or walked among others, it's true that my situation fell from me,. .Around 7:30, I started getting ready, even though we weren't planning togo to the party until 10. I had a lot of prep work to do. I spent muchof the time doing my eye makeup, which was a sultry and very sexy heavyred smokey look. With these nails, I couldn't manage the extra longfalse eyelashes I had picked up, so I enlisted Taylor's help. Her nailswere her regular length - long but more manageable than mine! My eyesfelt strange with the fake lashes, but they looked so fucking hot!Around 9, I put on my dress, garter, and (very carefully, with myclaws!) my thigh high stockings. The dress was a low cut corset dress ina lacy mix of black and red (that made my breasts look so hot that Iwanted to fuck them), with a layered, frilly skirt that was very shortin the front, lengthening to just below the knee in the sides and back;the garter set, fishnet stockings, and my silk thong were all black. Ienlisted Taylor's help again in lacing up the corset; I had a prettynice figure already, so it.
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