I yawned and rolled onto my side. I felt something foreign underneath me. Confused, I reached my hand down to my waist and felt warm metal.What the fuck? It took me a second before I realized the metal thing was attached to me! I whipped the covers off my bed and my eyes shot open.I looked down and between my legs, was a steel device locked around my cock and balls! A million thoughts quickly screamed through my head: Who put it there? Did I? Why? How? Can I get it off my fucking body?I gently gave it a tug, but I could quickly tell that it would not be removed this way. Two metal bars kept the device secure: one behind my testicles, the other in front. To pull the cage off, I would have to crush my testicles. Clearly, I would not be taking that risk.I started to get dizzy with panic. I tried to calm myself down. What do I do?Fiddling with the tight, rigid device, I inspected it further. It seemed the back bar and the front plate, which connected to a small curved shaft, which covered. That started a brainstorming session. Cassidy pointed out that she’d seen a bumper sticker that said that their dog was smarter than your first grader. We thought Duke was probably smarter than Thomas Fox, if his grades at State were any indication. Then we came up with ten things that would change if dogs ruled the world.Duke’s Possible Platform:1) Protect those that you love. That is job one.2) There would be specific times each day for ear, chest, and belly rubs.3) Fetch would be designated the official national pastime.4) There should be a push for equality. Cats are people too.5) Their human would be referred to as ‘Dog’s Best Friend.’6) Conflict would be decided by a game of tug-of-war.7) Squirrels would be in a higher tax bracket. The additional funds would go towards figuring out ‘What’s that noise?’8) Doorbells would be outlawed. Same with the mail carrier.9) A dog has more personality, integrity, empathy, and loyalty than any politician ever had.10) You only wish you are as.
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