Sometimes I missed a dose here and there, but I was sure it hadn’t happened lately. As he pulled back to look at me, I thought I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes, so when he shook his head my heart sank. ‘It’s not just about that, though, is it?’ ‘But I’ve never been with anyone but James — I told you — we were both virgins. And I know he didn’t sleep with anyone else while we were together — still hasn’t, if what people tell me is true.’ I hesitated, growing increasingly desperate. ‘And you — you were with Claire — for what, ten years? Was there — have you…?’ I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. His expression seemed to darken. ‘I never cheated on Claire, if that’s what you’re asking, and no, there hasn’t been anyone since. And for what it’s worth, I’ve never had sex without protection. Claire couldn’t take the pill, and before Claire — well, like I said –‘ He held me at arms’ length and gazed at me for what felt like an eternity, his hungry eyes devouring my near-naked body.. ’ By the time Grandpa had us all organized, I had finished my breakfast. The two of us got our things ready and prepared to leave to return to the Camp. As we saddled up, I saw two small boys come out of the barn carrying milk buckets, going toward the spring house to put the milk away. Watching them, my mind wandered as I remembered doing that very same thing when I was a boy. I was jarred from daydreaming about my childhood when Grandpa called to them, ‘Brad! Davy! Come over here and say hello to your Cousin Clay!’ As they approached with obvious curiosity, Grandpa explained, ‘He’s my brother’s son. He will be staying here for awhile.’ The one Grandpa had identified as Brad, and from his size the older of the two, sounded a little stand-offish as he greeted me and in the direct nature of children, challenged me. ‘Hi Clay. Why haven’t you been here before? I didn’t know I had any cousins except little Ed, and he’s just a baby.’ Using the background information Grandpa had been.
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