“Val” I said, “That picture must be at least 20 years old and it is faded. I tell you what, you get your tits out and we will see what we can do”Ha-ha I thought, that would teach her. No way would she agree and this would teach her a lesson with for threatening to tell tales to my wife.“OK” she said, “But come into the lounge”This surprised me and it wasn’t what I had expected her to say.“Are you sure?” I asked.“Oh yes” she said, “but only topless. I am not showing you anything else” And with that she turned and walked into her lounge and sat in an armchair facing me and begun to undo her blouse.“Put that newspaper on the floor will you?” she asked.“Why?” I replied.“So you don’t make a mess on the carpet” she said.What !!! Cheeky bloody cow….“Bollocks to that” I said. I was getting a bit cross now. “Just get ready”She frowned but slipped off her blouse and undid the catch to her bra and sat back in the chair looking at me.“Off you go then” she said. “Stand in front of me”“I can’t. ..> Hey Jess, this is fab@xxxmail, you're looking to talk to me?I waited for a response.> Fab, yeah hi, thought I could talk to you about you wanting to see Jessica Alba naked.> You looking to sit on my head?> Nah, just wanted to talk to the guy who had the balls to say that live on air. You know I think she's actually considering it.> Yeah, and how would you know that?> Do you have a webcam?> Yip. But I don't put it on for strangers, lot of whacko's out there.> So how about I put mine on.> Hey knock yourself out.> Okay, but this may come as a shock.> Why?No reply. All that happened next was a window popped open on screen and—and I fell off my seat.It was her, Jessica Alba in the flesh, well sought of.I don't even know what happened next, only that Jessica Alba wanted to meet me, and that she was in the country. The next thing I knew I was standing in front of a posh hotel outside Santon. Once there I started questioning the absurdity of the situation I was in, I mean my cousin Benny.
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