He then trudged slowly toward shore. As the water became waist deep, several bystanders approached and offered to take Amber from him. Steve simply shook his head and kept walking.Steve took in the scene as he stepped out of the water. Gwen was standing just to the side with Ashley. She was soaking wet, but wrapped in a warm trench coat and appeared to be doing well. Bill Hardy was sitting on someone's coat with another coat draped over his shoulders. He was complaining bitterly about how much his arm ached and how long the ambulance was taking to arrive.A couple of bystanders removed their coats and placed them on the frozen ground. Steve gently placed Amber on the clothing and felt her throat for a pulse. Feeling relief that she had a strong one, he bent down close to her mouth to determine if she was breathing properly. She had spittle and mucous around her nose and mouth, but her breathing was regular. Then the sirens became very loud as ambulances drove along the grassy shoulder. "No, no Kate," I said, gripping her gently yet firmly by the shoulders and looking into her eyes. "It's not you. You're fantastic, the best girl I've had in... Hell, in my whole life! You're great, and you're trying so hard to please me. It's not you, it's me." As this cliché slipped out, I inwardly cursed myself for being so chicken-shit. But I still wasn't ready to admit what the real problem was.She looked back up at me, her hair wild, her eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't help loving her, her petite form which made me feel strong, her soft yielding flesh which I could feel pressing against me. And I hated myself for loving her and yet not loving her. But she saw none of that. As we bathed in silence, our eyes were locked together, neither of us looking anywhere but the other's face.Later, as the morning turned hot and we sat in our usual spot, she seemed content to simply snuggle against me, her skin, still soft even with the sand and spray, pressing warmly against.
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