The glow was now a deep blood red and the light pulsed with her beating heart.She turned and looked at the old woman, her dying queen and smiled, “I do now what you could never do old woman.” She turned back to the mirror and held up the crown stone. “Now I do what you should have done the day you found the first shard.” Taking a deep, shuddering breath at the pain to come, she cut a bloody gap in the skin of her forehead. She pulled it open even though the pain made her want to scream again in total madness. With her blood-soaked hands, she pushed the stone against the exposed bones of her skull. Again the stone burned and seated itself in the bones and the skin knitted and sealed the stone in place. Again, the light turned to a deep blood red and pulsed and flickered with the very thoughts of her mind. She turned and grinned at the dying woman. “Now old one, where are the rest of the stone shards.” The old Queen turned her head towards the box on a high shelf. The girl smiled a. So I had really done it. What was wrong with me? I had a good job, a good life, and although I wasn't dating anyone currently, a fairly active and satisfying sex life. What's making me take these risks for an orgasm, I asked myself, when all I have to do is go out with one of the many good looking guys at work or at the gym who are clearly interested in me. I had never in the past wanted to flash myself or expose myself to anyone. I had never been an exhibitionist and never craved the audience. Why did I take the risk then?That's when it hit me. The epiphany. It wasn't just about getting off. And it wasn't at all about exposing my naked body to an audience. I didn't want that. In fact I wanted to avoid that. It was about the risk of being seen and the rush arising from it, especially from not wanting to be seen. Just like bungee jumping or sky diving isn't about hitting the ground at tremendous speed, but precisely about getting the rush from the risk of hitting the ground.And I had.
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