” But then son says, “No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!”An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle’s butt and asks, “How high up are we?” “About 2,000 feet,” the eagle replies. The mouse replies, “You ain’t sh*ttin’ me, are you?”A businessman returns from the far east. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in the Far East, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in the East they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Pakistan. The doctor examines him and says, “You’ve been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?” The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.” The doctor says, “I bet they told you it had to be cut off.” The man answers, “Yes!” The doctor. "Phil I really need this job, the economy is so bad that I don't...” "You don't think I know how bad it is? Try living on a social security retirement check! Our savings are gone; most of the money Maureen had saved went to pay for her funeral! You don't know shit about how bad it is!" "I said I’m sorry," Katie's mind raced about losing the house, her c***dren's education, "please Phil you don't have to file a complaint!" "I'm trying to watch my show" as the television series 'Lost' came back on the television. Phil stared at the television ignoring Katie's pleas. He suddenly looked up from the show and stared over at Katie and back to the television, pointing at the TV, "You look just like her!" Katie looked at the screen and shrugged her shoulders, "I guess," just glancing at the lady, "Please Phil, it was an honest mistake." Phil stared at the TV. There wasn't much for him to do since Maureen died besides watch television and jack off, at least try to. He had become addicted.
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