"The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 am. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 am, Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!" " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his. The insurance company rented this one for us until the claim is settled. We’ll talk about it when we get home, OK?” She definitely wasn’t looking forward to the conversation we would have when she got us home.As the scenery slipped by, I asked, “How long was I out?”Tara’s eyes misted over, no doubt thinking about what she had to tell me about Michael’s parents. “We were hit by the truck on Friday and today is Wednesday. It’s been twelve days.” She wanted to say more but the catch in her throat precluded it.“Then I guess I missed the funerals, huh...” That would let her know that she didn’t have to break the news to her young nephew and give her a little comfort.“Oh, Michael ... It was a beautiful day. People from Ed’s job came and it looked like the entire church showed up, with almost the whole neighborhood. I bought plots for them and the rest of us. The insurance company for the truck that hit us already paid for everything. I hope you don’t mind. We can all be buried together.
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