I had purchased a used mini-SUV just the week before and planned to drive to the nearest mall for some new clothing. Patricia was suggesting some items I might consider, and at the same time she was teasing me by writing up a list of adult toys she thought might add spice to her nights with me when a waft of expensive perfume hit both of us.I did not recognize the woman who approached the counter, but she seemed to be studying my face. She had long hair, which clearly had been bleached to keep the blond color. Her face lacked any wrinkles, and her breasts were two perfect oversized melons sitting on her chest. Patricia muttered "trophy bunny", under her breath as the woman checked her bags to make sure they were inside and then walked up to the counter."Linda Tuttle, my husband and I have a reservation for your best suite," the blond said. "And can you get the porter to help my husband with the skis?"Linda was looking directly at me, although I was wearing jeans and a heavy jacket,. You have to give us that. Long time no see, you world record motherfucker.” I stood up and gave my high school buddy a back slapping man hug.“Careful, dude. Not too long,” I said. “I don’t want any of these ladies thinking I was waiting for my boyfriend to show up to celebrate with a sausage party.”“What ladies? There’s nobody here but the bar staff. And they’re like, forty.”“Yeah, naughty forty. And I tip well.” I caught the eye of the nearest bartender and pointed to my empty glass. She nodded. “Shit, Derek. What’s it been? Two years?”“Three and change, but who’s counting?”My drink came.“A double, for last call,” the bartender said. “Congratulations again. And thanks for the tips tonight.”I raised my glass to her. “No, thank you.” To Derek I said, “Last call. You want anything? I’m buying.”“Nah, man. Driving. All good. Thanks though.”The bartender nodded and headed back to the bar.“Well, after this the libations come to and end and I will be back on the wagon until I’m on the.
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