I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and some days, I truly do struggle with it. The words are just words, i can say "I'm sorry" a billion times a day, and it wouldn't make any difference. No amount of "I'm sorry" can bring you back, or take away the pain that I've caused. The only "I'm sorry" that really matters, is the one deep inside of my heart, that I hope that you can feel, and hear when I talk to you. That feeling of being alone will be there forever my sweet, because I let you down. I'm cursed to live the life that your mom had mentioned, alone, and regretting not showing you how I truly felt.My life will never be whole again. I will continue to exist, probably for a very long time, but, I'll never feel as truly happy as I did. Three long years, is just the first steps into the life that I will lead. That life started June 17, 2011, the journey will never end. There may be moments of bliss, and happiness. She's family to me, but I perved anyway knowing all this. I started by taking the bin and collapseable hamper into my room, closed the door, stripped naked, and hit up the hamper first. One set of clothes were in there, top, small pair of jeans, a bra that looked comical on its own but probably good on her fat breasts, and a pair of used black bikinis, Jockeys for Her.I took them, turned them inside out and focused on the crotch, stained with faded white streaks. The panties didn't smell bad, they smelled strong of her perfume and body wash which surprisd me. I licked the crotch of the panty, over and over again and dreamed of tasting her, of her finding out I was doing this, I licked them clean, and rubbed them over my erect cock being careful not to cum, but unable to stop from staining them with my precum.I put them over my face, laid on my bed, and jackedd off and came in and in an instant. Hard, very thick and hard. I came with her panties, crotch, stuffed in my mouth. I cleaned.
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