"He shrugged. "Then who cares how weird it is? I'm enjoying it."I zipped up the front of the jacket and put on my sneakers. The jacketwas tight too."You know," I said, "what's really got me confused is the fact that inmy mind, I know that I should be repulsed by all of this. I mean, Icertainly don't have to tell you that I don't have repressed gayfeelings, right?"He nodded."And yet, it didn't bother me, before, doing what I did. I don't knowthat it did anything for me - I know that it didn't - but...but thefact that you enjoyed it so much...even the idea that you're enjoyingwatching me get dressed...It's flattering. It's something I - we -never felt before."He looked at me with a serious gaze. "Do you think that the physicalchanges you've gone through are effecting emotional and psychologicalchanges?"I thought about this for a moment. "It's too early to tell." But - and be truthful about this," he said. "Does it bother you thatI'm so sexually charged over you?" Not as much as it. " You're a virgin?" Yes." Oops, gaff alert: I was sounding too surprised. Was I implying she was a failure?"Saving yourself." Bull! Well, saving myself for someone I can stand to be in the same room with." You've had offers?" I wasn't watching my tongue!"A couple. Well, the first guy had been retired for some years..." I mean it. Guys just don't know you. If a guy got to know you like I do..." They'd marry Faith." I stared at her, speechless. Her point had struck home. And it occurred to me: had Martha been interested in me ? She laughed mirthlessly, then offered: "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair." It probably was, " I answered. I felt about two inches tall. I have to admit I'd never even given a moment's thought to going out with Martha even though she's as interesting and nice as any woman I'd ever met."Enough on that subject," said Martha, finally. "I'm resigned to my chaste life." You aren't so unlucky as you realize: sex really isn't all it's cracked up to be." So you don't really.
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